so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize