I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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