just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
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my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
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I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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