How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize