I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize