Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Blood and glitter go together right?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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