which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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