mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize