you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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