I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
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You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
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You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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