it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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