we have pet lesbian snakes
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
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