he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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