I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
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During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize