You're my little dorito
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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