Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
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Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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