He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize