I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize