I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
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we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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