No awkward lesbian experiences without me
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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