he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Randomize