She's JV to your varsity
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize