with your own penis?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
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Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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