dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
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ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
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He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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