Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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