Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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