i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
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Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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