Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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