just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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