I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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