omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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