the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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