Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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