I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize