allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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