This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
