I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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