if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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