Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize