Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
This baby is an asshole
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
is it fun? or sober?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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