that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize