they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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