I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize