i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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