So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I am available for nakedness
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
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