I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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