Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
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Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
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Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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