Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
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i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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