Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
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Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
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I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
soo... how was my night?
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