She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize