I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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